Youth Voices

Defiled

By Zohra Noushin Ahmed

Speak  - Defiled

I am filthy

Defiled.

Raped by 5 men in an attempt to save your life

Yet you can’t look at me

For fear of witnessing your weakness in my eyes.

You failed to protect me

I need you now – yet you reject all that I have left

In order to protect an ego that you cannot justify

In order to hide the hurt that you see reflected in my eyes.

I am a living corpse

Bound to a life that I cannot end

What justice is this

Where my rapists run scot free

and I get bound like a criminal behind bars placed by society

Confining what little life I have left in me

To within the four walls of my prison cum sanctuary.

The law peers closely at the case of revenge I plead

So closely, that justice becomes blurred and lost

The file gets pushed further down the block

And yet another date is passed

Another interval before the next court session can repast

Another trial of terror – I may die at the hands of those desperate to keep me silent

And justice may never come to pass.

Yet society remains obscenely quiet

Calmly watching from behind locked doors

As my life crumbles around me

Providing them with yet another show

to feed their eternal boredom

Entertaining, is it not? When you are the ugly secret the world hides from itself

For fear of having to face a reflection which is not all together too pleasant.

There are others like me

Hiding behind bars placed around them by friends and family

It is the strangers who then come to our aid

Throngs of protesters and angry ‘activists’

They come like the night angel

And strive to free us from our now eternal cage.

The government turns its back on us

And so do the people we once called our own

It is so much easier to pretend nothing happened

Than face the beast – and fight for the protection of your home.

It is easier to ignore evil

Than strive to set the caged angels free

The fire of vengeance is too hot to be near

Yet it burns within us

Brighter than ever

The resistance we face is natural yet a punishment in itself

The law is against us

There is no justice to be dealt

What we must have

We must take for ourselves

For in this darling country of mine

Nothing is given – without a fight to the death.