Youth Voices

At Last

By Hufsa Sarwar 

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I guess—no wait—I’m sure
that my time has finally come.
All the medical reports and constant sickness-
leave it: It’s all now bore.
I don’t care for beeping monitors
and flashing green screens…

Just let me hold up my hands
and leave the machines.
I have no strength left to talk,
but I must pray this one last time,
and through the jerks and the spasms,
God will understand my weary mime.

Oh dear Lord, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth,
I’m sure that of my sins there is no dearth;
I’ve hurt others, gone back on my word
mocked people, thousands of boundaries I have blurred,
Been rude to my parents (oh, Lord, forgive me!),
All in all, it’s a pretty pathetic story.
I know I’ve failed, I know I didn’t pass
I haven’t got an A, but the die has been cast.

Will I be in Heaven? Where will I go?
I can’t leave this Earth knowing the answer is ‘No’.
O Gracious Master, tell me there’s hope…
then I’ll hold on tight, never let go of Your rope
Tell me I’ve got time, show me the way.
Give me good news: it’s been a horrible day.
I promise I’ll be good, I promise I’ll be humble,
And in this last chance I’ll be sure not to stumble
Go on, say the words, You know You have the power,
and before You all of Your Creations cower.

And even if You decide not to grant my wish
(for nothing is easy, never presented on a dish)
I just want to say (even though You know already)
that I’ve always loved You, Lord, You have kept me steady,
You’ve always been there for me, even though You keep check on billions.
For Your love alone, I would part with everything, with millions.

It’s soothing to say it, more soothing to know it,
that even in the darkest of times I can always rely on You,
and now I beg of You to agree to the entreaty I submit
let me know, please, whether You think I’ve been true.

I’m tired now, Lord, I’ve said all I wanted,
with all these grim reports now I won’t be daunted,
because I just felt an extra surge of love
directed at me, from way up above.