the Voice of Youth

Letter to My Mother

Mother’s Day Special

By Arsh Azim
University of Peshawar
Peshawar

Image source: http://www.coachjudithblog.com

Dear Mom,

I don’t know where you are but you still reside in my mind. You’re not
in my heart because you never gave me a feeling of being a mother or
maybe I was too young to feel your presence but you left me at an age
of unconsciousness. When ever I see a 6 year old child, I am pulled
into my past and try to remember how I was at this age. An innocent
child of course, who didn’t even know what departure or being left is.
Who didn’t even have the idea how to differentiate between a mother
and a father. Who couldn’t even realize what would happen after you
leave me. And who didn’t even think what the real meaning of mother
is. Whatever state I am in, right now, you don’t know. I can’t say
that I have forgotten you or something because it’s totally lame to
say such a thing as you’re the one who gave me birth and nourished me
till I was a school going child. You still reside in my mind, in my
soul, in my unconsciousness, in every scenario in which I see a mother
with her child. I don’t miss you because I don’t know how it would
have been if you would’ve lived. But what I always wish is that you
should have been with me at the time when I need a shoulder to cry
upon, at a time when all my friends are with their mothers and I am
with whom so ever I get to be with at that time, and at a time when
all my friends’ mothers meet each other and I have a person whom I
couldn’t even imagine of being my mother. When all my friends talk to
their mothers, I feel numb and blank. I never show but I do. Only then
I call my father who has always given me a feeling of being a mother.
I don’t want you to be in my mind because it pinches me and I don’t
want to know how it feels when relationships end. I don’t have anyone
to wish on Mother’s day and buy a gift for and I have always craved
for you on this day. I know I’m being selfish because I only want you
at the time when I need you but every human being is selfish when it
comes to a mother and you shouldn’t mind this thing. I don’t know how
it feels when one is with his/her mother but I know that what-so-ever
happens to a person, he runs to his mother and just feels the warmth
of her lap. I never got to know how it is when one feels the warmth of
his/her mother’s lap. At night when I sleep, there is no regret of you
being not there. I know I am being harsh right now but that’s how I
feel about you. I don’t know the real meaning of the word MOTHER. I
was asked to write a description on a mother and this is what I wrote
in return – I really didn’t know. I realized it only when my teacher
called me and asked me what I have really written. That’s how you
reside in my mind. You’re in my unconscious and even if I try a
million times to forget you, I simply can’t. You’re still with me, I
don’t know where, but you are!
Here’s the poem that I wrote for you which shows the real face of my
unconsciousness.

“O Mother”
I was a bird, I was a nightingale
I was strong like a whale

Once you were with me all day and night
Now you are far away from my sight

I was small, always with you
Holding your hand, walking with you

When you were near to me
I used to cry for hours, you see

A bag I used to wear was full of books
Leaving behind my personality along with my looks

When I used to cry all night and weep
You would hold my hand and make me sleep

O mother, for years you made me smile
Now when you’ve left me, I am ready to spoil

Still at night I sleep on your arms
But I sleep hesitantly and wake up so warm

O mother! I am not yet old to forget you soon
I still cry for you above the bridge when it’s full moon…

P.S. I love you, Dad.

With Love,

The only daughter whom you left.

Ali Suleman

A telecommunications engineer who, through his writings, wishes to modulate social freedom, synchronize politics with true democracy, filter out emotionalism from rationality, and broadcast peace all over the world. Serving as Head Publications of tVoY since its inception. Can be contacted at ali.suleman@thevoiceofyouth.com

   

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